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Aksar 2 Review

Aksar 2
T J Reddy / fullhyd.com
EDITOR RATING
1.0
Performances
Script
Music/Soundtrack
Visuals
1.0
1.0
1.0
2.0
Suggestions
Can watch again
No
Good for kids
No
Good for dates
No
Wait to rent it
No
Even though I unscrewed my cranium and left my brain at the helmet counter of my local multiplex knowing I'd be watching Aksar 2, I soon realized that no amount of dumbing myself down could have adequately prepared me for what this movie had to offer.

Let's start with the "plot". The filmmakers have dragged poor Lillete Dubey into their schemes by having her play 70-year-old multi-millionaire Madame Khambatta. Her nephew Ricky (Abhinav Shukla) wants to steal her fortune. Khambatta's marionette puppet manservant who stares into your soul, Bachchan Singh (Mohit Madaan), orchestrates an ingenious plan that involves killing Madame's governess and putting Sheena Roy (Zareen Khan) in the vacant position with the aid of investment banker Patrick Sharma (Gautam Rode). Also, Sreesanth makes his acting debut in this movie.

Well, if the movie says **** you to me, I'll say **** you to it. Spoiler alert for all ONE of you that cares about this movie. Everyone here dies except for Zareen who marries the Sultan of Brunei after getting away with the money because, feminism.

Back to the discussion.

We live in an age of smartphones where Mukesh Ambani gives us 1 GB of data a day to do with as we please. So why would anyone spend their hard-earned cash on watching this movie while you could watch better acting and performing for free on some websites I can't mention here? Because, let's be real, no one is here for plot. I talk about performing because the actors in this movie believe sex can be had with blankets between people, and by dry humping someone's thigh. This happens and I can never un-see it and now you won't be able to get the image out of your head too. You're welcome.

Writers, director, producers, makers of this movie, I know you can't write a proper scene to save your lives, but do you not know how intercourse works? I mean Mukesh Ambani gives you 1GB a day, remember?

Anyway, review part 2. The acting is horrible (poor Lillete Dubey), the writing is atrocious, the camera is fixated on Khan's bosoms and would be rejected by the TV show CID, the songs feature Khan intentionally showing skin while mourning the death of her boyfriend/husband/FWB/whatever, you don't care and neither do I. This is a world where people are outsmarted by Zareen Khan, ladies and gentlemen. Need I say more?

Wait, why am I even trying to discuss this movie anymore? None of you need any convincing any more. So, in conclusion: blahtitty-blah. Blah-blah-blaaaah-blah. Blah-blah. Blah-blahtitty-blah-blah-blah. Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-lala. Good night and see you all on the next review which hopefully features a movie where people care about their craft.
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Aksar 2 (hindi) reviews
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TOP COMMENT
The Common Movie Goer on 18th Nov 2017, 12:46pm | Permalink
The tag line on the landing page linking to this page is 100% wrong. It should read "please don't miss this review" instead of the other way round. I miss the Fullhyd of old where Deepa Garimella and co. would dish out 1.0s like politicos do freebies. I see this as the first step of restoring the glory days of 1.0s and 2.0s.

Lines that deserve a special mention where I literally LOLed although it wasn't very cool of TJ to include a spoiler:

Let's start with the "plot".

Everyone here dies except for Zareen who marries the Sultan of Brunei after getting away with the money because, feminism.

So why would anyone spend their hard-earned cash on watching this movie while you could watch better acting and performing for free on some websites I can't mention here?

I talk about performing because the actors in this movie believe ...

I mean Mukesh Ambani gives you 1GB a day, remember?

...and would be rejected by the TV show CID (Savage!!!)

the songs feature Khan intentionally showing skin while mourning the death of her boyfriend/husband/FWB/whatever,...(really?)

So, in conclusion: blahtitty-blah. Blah-blah-blaaaah-blah. Blah-blah. Blah-blahtitty-blah-blah-blah. Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-lala. (loving the attitude!)

CONCLUSION: Inspired review. Genius.
5
0
AKSAR 2 USER REVIEWS
1 - 4 OF 4 COMMENTS
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Anvesh on 1st Dec 2017, 8:28am | Permalink
TJ,

On one of the recent reviews I commented that you are really coming of age. With this one, you are in hall of fame bro!

Also, great comment, TCMG.
TJ Reddy on 2nd Dec 2017, 9:09am | Permalink
Thanks, Anvesh. Keep the support coming and I'll keep the reviews coming.
Priyanka on 23rd Nov 2017, 12:26pm | Permalink
Note to myself - read movie reviews on fullhyd of good movies. DO NOT EVER MISS reading movie reviews on fullhyd of crap movies :) Hilariously awesome, TJ!
TJ Reddy on 23rd Nov 2017, 9:04pm | Permalink
Thank you for that Priyanka. Glad you had fun with the review.
BrokenHeart on 20th Nov 2017, 2:31am | Permalink
Nicely done!! Very witty.
TJ Reddy on 20th Nov 2017, 10:37am | Permalink
Thank you!
The Common Movie Goer on 18th Nov 2017, 12:46pm | Permalink
The tag line on the landing page linking to this page is 100% wrong. It should read "please don't miss this review" instead of the other way round. I miss the Fullhyd of old where Deepa Garimella and co. would dish out 1.0s like politicos do freebies. I see this as the first step of restoring the glory days of 1.0s and 2.0s.

Lines that deserve a special mention where I literally LOLed although it wasn't very cool of TJ to include a spoiler:

Let's start with the "plot".

Everyone here dies except for Zareen who marries the Sultan of Brunei after getting away with the money because, feminism.

So why would anyone spend their hard-earned cash on watching this movie while you could watch better acting and performing for free on some websites I can't mention here?

I talk about performing because the actors in this movie believe ...

I mean Mukesh Ambani gives you 1GB a day, remember?

...and would be rejected by the TV show CID (Savage!!!)

the songs feature Khan intentionally showing skin while mourning the death of her boyfriend/husband/FWB/whatever,...(really?)

So, in conclusion: blahtitty-blah. Blah-blah-blaaaah-blah. Blah-blah. Blah-blahtitty-blah-blah-blah. Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-lala. (loving the attitude!)

CONCLUSION: Inspired review. Genius.
TJ Reddy on 19th Nov 2017, 6:14am | Permalink
Glad you liked it TCMG. I was in a zone when I wrote it. Haha.

As much as I like to do these 1 star reviews, they just aren't fulfilling to me as film lover. It feels like a hollow victory. That's one of the reasons I try to be even handed with almost every review.
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