A sane reviewer who is averagely intelligent, very normal most of the times and
is in his senses too would react the following way after watching a movie like
Aurat Ki Pyas
- He regrets his choice of profession.
- However meek, patient and submissive he may be, he suddenly gets an urge
to crucify the entire crew of this movie and is even ready to get the chair.
- He takes a solemn oath to never again venture into an edifice called a
After sometime, when time brings him back to more temperate levels of behaviour,
he suddenly empathizes with his fellow viewers. At least he was paid to watch
this movie and his costs will be reimbursed. He can even bargain with his employer
for a raise what with the immense trauma he had to undergo while on the job.
But what about those poor mortals who bunked their offices (and schools) and
set aside their domestic problems for a while to have some harmless moments
of fun by watching a movie with a cracker of a title? He realizes he is in a
much more comfortable zone of pain and thanks his stars for that.
The 'film' (it's a shudder to think that even Schindler's List was called a
film) starts off with a lady chanting Jai Ganesh, Jai Ganesh
of a portrait of Lord Vishnu (?!) and praying for her son's marriage to be held.
No wonder he isn't married till then. The son Gaurav (Pinocchio-nose) is a doctor
who runs a maternity home where all kinds of patients, including heart patients
and people with headaches and neurological problems come and receive treatment.
Once in a while you also have a lady who has a problem the clinic is meant for.
An abrupt scene change shows a couple conversing at 3400Db about their daughter's
unmarried status. The daughter, meanwhile, breaks that sound barrier by screaming
that she doesn't want to get married. But later, seeing her friend and her husband
(stiff-)necking each other away to glory in their bedroom, she decides that
marriage is not after all such a pain in the neck. Coincidentally, she has an
arranged marriage with Pinocchio-nose.
But to her disappointment, in the much awaited first night, PN happily drinks
the milk to the last drop, gives discourses to the girl about hope, life and
medicine, and then snores his way to sleep, leaving our aurat pyaasi
(and the viewers, too). This keeps on happening night after night. A frustrated
aurat leaves for her 3400Db parents' home, leaving PN in the lurch.
PN writes letters to aurat
asking her to come back, which he keeps on
harping about to his mother as if it's his biggest achievement since passing
kindergarten. Meanwhile, the maid of the house gets pregnant (well, she has
puked all over the kitchen). A perplexing mystery crops up as to who the father
of the child is. Aurat
vehemently declares that PN can't be the father,
as he cannot 'raise' issues. PN, meanwhile, faints for no reason and land up
in his own hospital (the maternity home). There he is taken great care of by
and he finally reveals the truth.
A flashback shows that when he was at medical college (which actually looks
like a kindergarten school in Moosapet), he was ragged by a girl who'd also
tried to seduce him, and unable to bear that trauma, he can no longer be 'upright'
in his life. Aurat
and PN are given counseling by a doctor, and the mystery
of who the father of the maid's child also gets solved. It was a puke of indigestion
and nothing else.
Morals of the story:
Never get ragged in college.
- Don't mistake any puke for a puke of pregnancy.
Never get lured merely by a movie's title.