Five minutes into Garv and you see a shirt-less Salman Khan in police custody, hands-tied, and being beaten by flat panels so hard that you can see them flexing against his torso with every thrash. Hmm…cardboard is for cartons.
Why doesn't his golden, sculpted body have more than one scratch to show at the end of the third-degree. Why? Why? Why? Because even an eternity of this brutality can do nothing to a man who has had it with this napunsak samaj . Because Puneet Isarr is a debutant director. Because the panels were cardboard. Because patches of red would cover skin, and Salman won't even let clothes do that!
Garv is exactly what the trailers show it to be. Except it goes on a lot longer. ACP Arjun Ranawat (Salman Khan) is your cowboy kinda cop who shoots first and asks questions later. His method of vigilante justice is questioned in a closed-doors meeting by members of the highest echelons of copdom.
Through the general lawlessness, one law must prevail. Every hero must have a heroine. Arjun's chamiya is Shilpa Shetty, a bar dancer who is in love with him. She is shocked that the men who watch her gyrate and seductively slither around have only bhook aur hawas in their eyes. Whoa? In a place like that?!
Garv announces the existence of encounter squads. Because Ab Tak Chappan forgot to tell us about that? Really, the look-what-I-thought-up tone that Commissioner Samar Singh (Amrish Puri) employed is compelling in its naiveté.
Arjun is the adopted son of Farida Jalal. He also has a moo bholi behen who is more like moo boli behen since she acts like a complete cow - with only one expression on her face.
The encounter squad starts to destroy the underworld, incurring wrath for Arjun and his trusted deputy Hyder (Arbaaz Khan). That brings us to a hearing where Arjun's being tried for slaughtering a zillion baddies for a reason he refuses to disclose. Well, the only person in the theatre who did not guess what that could be much before it was revealed was a two-year old who really did not give a damn if her next stop was Vietnam.
Garv is crass and crude. The language makes you cringe because it is mostly unnecessarily vulgar. Shilpa Shetty makes an appearance for three item-numbers, and is completely wasted. Oh, no, no, we aren't suggesting she's a good actress. It's just that the lady who dances to 'Marhaba, Marhaba' looks extremely desirable while Shetty fizzles in comparison.
But Garv is the kind of movie that you should watch with a bunch of pals so you can exchange hi-fives each time you predict what is going to happen next. The movie is actually a tribute to Bollywood clichés.