Kuchh Meetha Ho Jaye wouldn't give, even to the very undeserving and the very un-aspiring humor-mongering films, a run for their money. It lacks in latitude, as the story is frozen too tightly within time and place constraints. It lacks in depth, on accord of the vapid perormances. And it lacks in humor. The movie is mired in bitterness, and if there is any sweetness in the story, it blissfully passes you by.
The movie is about a delayed flight, a bunch - rather a large bunch - of passengers, a fainting zombie of a girl, a burkha-clad-turning-into-micro-mini-hugging woman, a chirruping cell-phone maniac, a smitten colonel, a... oh, you name it and the category is there. So bear with us if we mess up the names or their stories, which are as different from each other as a cat's four paws.
So the story goes this way: There is an airport and there is an airport manager. Now this airport manager should not be confused with a kook prowling undirected in the formal lounges. It is just Arshad Warsi, living out his Munna Bhai hangover.
At the airport, the delayed-flight passengers are all in various stages of conjugal estrangement - divorced, recently divorced, very recently divorced, about to be divorced, just-jilted-recently-found-love and separated-from-someone-else's-spouse.
Khan (Arshad Warsi) is deeply in love with Gulab (Mahima Choudary). To give you a measure of this depth, he keeps drowning himself in his hip-flask, the contents of which are highly dubious - else, once in a while he might have actually acted.
His childhood sweetheart was whisked away by a London-based writer, with the Government of India to blame. It appeared that the government didn't prevent riots, which somehow prevented Khan from pre-empting Gulab's disastrous marriage.
Mahima arrives at the airport, strutting like a plucked bird, in a black all-covering veil and burkha. She struts some more, does a double take and sheds some clothes, goes to Arshad Warsi seeking love, comes back to her husband on a rebound, and then runs out of ideas.
In the meantime we are going through the pangs of being witness to the disaffection sagas of other passengers. Reckon this for starters: there is a starry-eyed teenage couple (Shravan, Mahima Mehta), a bachelor (Parvin Dabas) caught between two sisters, a newly-wed couple (Aditya Lakhia and wife), a long-married one (Nassar Abdullah, Mahima Chaudhary), and a divorced one (Sachin Khedekar, Iravati Harshe).
This unexpected stop at the airport forces everyone to rethink and retrospect. This is the only solid ground of the story, which reflects the innovativeness of director Sumar Khan. But it also shows his inexperience in being able to contain the story from simply trailing off in the end.
Mahima has managed to appear harsh and uncomfortable in her role. Arshad Warsi appears to be emitting the detachment and above-allness likely to be seen only in a deserted camel.
The standard of acting will make you think that the movie-shoot was wound up in one month, and that it was one wardrobe affair. And guess what, you are absolutely right.
We are not talking about the music as there is not much music to talk about, except Shoma Ghosh's thumri which almost epitomizes classical Indian music.
Just as you are about to zap your neighbor 'cos you can't yank the screen off, you are suddenly riveted to your seat - Shah Rukh Khan makes an appearance. By this time even he can't do much for you, but the recency effect makes you remember the movie with some sweetness.