What has 50 legs but can't walk? Give up? Half a centipede! And what do you get when cross a cock and a dog and some crap? You get cock-a-poodle-poo! Now, what happens when you get bitten by a giant randy arachnid? Well, I'll tell you what doesn't happen. You don't turn into Spiderman-on-steroids! Which totally kills every reason to go watch this inanity of a movie called Eight Legged Freaks. The only savior is the fact that the brain is a wonderful organ - it starts working from the moment you get up and only stops when you walk into the halls.
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