Upendra is called "Real" Indian Star, so I'll keep it REAL honest and tell you right away that Kabzaa is the biggest steaming pile of garbage I've seen in a long while. And I've seen Gaalodu and Cocaine Bear, both of which I consider now to be masterpieces in comparison. I heard a child shriek at some point in the second half when things got truly unbearable. Or maybe it was my inner voice, I don't know. The only reason I didn't walk out was the sense of duty I felt about warning you, dear reader, to maintain at least a 500 m distance from any theatre playing this movie.