Sonic The Hedgehog

Have you ever looked at a hedgehog from outer space that uses sonic speed to travel through portals across the universe and thought, "This guy needs to be in a buddy cop road trip film!"? We haven't either, and that's probably why we're here bitching about mediocre cinema on the internet while folks like this film's makers are making money hand over fist. It takes a special kind of banal to take one of the most psychedelic creations of the '90s, and do whatever is necessary to render it the least objectionable to the most adults, and simultaneously the most attractive to small children.
....