Doom

For those who spent the best years of their life hunched up on a computer chair and banging at the Ctrl button to catch that strawberry burst of blood they were conditioned to rejoice in, for those who jigged in their seats listening to the heavy-metal track transport them to the onscreen planet of supreme evil, Doom arrives like the resurrection of Christ for the believers. The sinners can go to hell!

That’s right, the unbelievers won’t feel too much at home here – Doom is incoherent, has no story, and has just a precious handful of minutes of first-person per....