Krishna Cottage Review

Hi, I am Shanti (Natassha). For those of you who don't know me, I'm the same girl from the 'Ding Dong' song. The others may tell you I am extremely irritating. But don't believe a word they say. I am out to change all that with Krishna Cottage. Here I am stupid as well.

Krishna Cottage begins with the launch of a book, titled Kahi Unkahi Baatein, written by Professor Siddharth Das (Raj Zutshi). Close-up shot of book. Somebody introduces the Prof and the book. Close-up shot of book. Professor Das talks about the book. Close-up shot of book. Oh, did I forget to mention this? We keep using the same, silly footage over and over again to add to the 'apparent' thrill of it. I told the director that he could do the same for all my scenes as well.

Skip to a year later, and we are at my college - J C College. I've been around here for four years. Why four years? Refer to last line of paragraph 1. In trots my boyfriend and soon to be fiancé, Manav (Sohail Khan). He is an American-returned, 30-year-old-college student, who will make it a point to thrust his muscles in your face by wearing rib-crushingly tight T-shirts. So much so that I think he even has one for his brain. Har, har!!!

Why am I cracking these poor jokes? This is not my department. The corny humor part is that of our sidekicks - Talli (Vrijesh Hirjee), Akshay, Kabir and Nupur (Divya Palat). My job is to act like I don't understand any. That doesn't need any acting skills (refer to the last line of paragraph 1).

The sidekicks are the guys that are put there to lengthen the film. Oh, and they are also there to get bumped off by the ghost, so that Manav and me are safe. Oh, didn't I tell you there's a ghost? Okay, there's a ghost. But we don't realize it until halfway through the movie. And this time, this can't be pinned on my stupidity. Nobody else realizes it as well. So there!

So, there is this other girl, Disha (Issha Koppikar), who starts showing an undue amount of interest in Manav, and he in her. She even bumps into him at the library. The nerve of the woman! This is where I scream. One of those half-croak, half-shrill varieties. Heck, can you blame me? I'm not in my element at a library. At all other times, though, I scream like a perfect minion of… er… what's that big word again? Never mind.

Turns out that this other woman is a ghost, and also the only one who can act among all of us. And guess who discovers that? Yours truly! No, not the fact that she's the only one that can act, but all the ooh-the-boo ghost deal. What, no drumoll? That's the smartest thing that I ever did!

I'm picked up off the freezing cold street by Rati Agnihotri, where I'd become unconscious after my encounter with the ghost. Why was I there in the first place? Because that is after all the only logical place to go after a midnight college event! Do I need to spell everything out??!

Now Rati is the mystic, bead-wearing taantrik, who helps us conduct these rip-roaring, side-splitting séances. That, apparently, was not the original intention. What we do find out, though, is that the ghost is just another one of those jilted, obsessed lovers of the previous birth who has come back to claim her man.

As unflinchingly as Rati puts it, Manav has to die, in the same place that he did in his previous birth, so that the rest of us (that is, me) will not be killed. We accept this piece of news the same way that we did the fact that a two-headed person is not normal.

What follows seemed to have entertained the audience thoroughly. They were holding their sides as the tears ran down their cheeks. Exactly what happens in a horror film, right? No! Er..., okay, mark my words - this flick will haunt you alright. You just wait and see.