Tom Dick And Harry Review

Dino in skimpy vests, condom balloons floating at a birthday bash, an inert Celina in hotpants, an Austin Powers inspired bald baddie, and occasional smut. Tom Dick And Harry is yours for a fling, only if these are a few of your favourite things.

Here's another bad bead in the perennial string of flicks like No Entry, Kya Kool Hain Hum and Pyare Mohan. Deepak Tijori sinks deeper into movie-muckland with this one. Three goofs love Celina, Celina loves no one, villain smuggles Indian babes to rest of the globe, goofs smell a rat and save the day in true klutz fashion. End of review (I wish!).

Here are the dreary details. Tom (Dino Morea) is deaf, Dick (Anuj Sawhney) is blind and Harry (Jimmy Shergill) is dumb (obviously now!). They earn a few bucks by selling cartons of "super condoms". And a few more by scamming their libidinous landlord, Happy Uncle (Rakesh Bedi). Bijlee (Kim Sharma), the machiwalli, leaves no chance of seducing Tom.

All these mundane lives take a mutinous sharp turn with the arrival of sultry padosan Celina (Celina Jaitley). The three stooges try their luck with Celina. Meanwhile, you are introduced to the big bad wolf, Soprano (Gulshan Grover). Dressed in a fancy brocade coat and a bald pate, he is a big crook. With global ambitions, this eccentric don aims at expanding his business beyond all limits. What's his business? Trafficking Indian women to hellholes across the world map (not funny).

Much of the comedy is derived from oddball Soprano's dopey deviance. In his brigade are three distinguished creeps of old Bollywood, namely Mogambo, Gabbar and Shakal. This sequence is a parody of the villainy of the yesteryears. Soprano's vain freakiness does deserve a snigger or two.

Tom, Dick and Harry rescue Celina from Soprano's lackeys, but get embroiled in the villain's dark plans. Then comes the revelation - Celina is an undercover agent! But of course.

The three oafs disguised as clownish versions of Mangal Pandey, Anthony (of Amitabh fame) and Salman Khan of Tere Naam, accompanied by Happy Uncle and the machiwalli, descend upon Soprano's hide-out. After a whole lot of fists and kicks are exchanged, the police piloted by the inspector (Shakti Kapoor) join in, and good beats evil yet again.

There's not much you can make of the sterile storyline of Tom, Dick And Harry. Some of the risque wisecracks are alright, but most end up being trash for the garbage truck. The buffoonery that defines the conversations of Tom, Dick and Harry is supposed to carry the weight of the comedy. But these bodily acts of translation tend to get tedious.

There are one too many songs stuffed in the film, though "Jhoom Jhoom" and "Tanha Jiya Na Jaye" are fine tunes.

Dino Morea and Anuj Sawhney are entertaining (some of the time), but Jimmy Shergill seems to go over the top. Celina Jaitley is like a pre-schooler doing her first play onstage. That doltish look pasted across her face is quite bugging. Gulshan Grover enacts an atypical baddie with grace, though at times the eccentric is replaced by the moron. Rakesh Bedi is a convincing sardar.

If you can skip this film, do. There's one distinctly humourous piece, though. Celina Jaitley's pathetic attempt at feminist fundas when she rages against the "itemisation" of women. Such a twerp!