Aankhen Review

Aankhen is basically about three blind mice that all ran into the farmer's wife, who cut off their tails with a carving knife, taa daa daa something something, three blind mice. Okay, I'll sober up, already. There is this huge bank that is (apart from being beyond my comprehension) called the Vilasrao Jefferson Bank. Huh duh what? Nothing to do with a certain William Jefferson Clinton - the main hombre is Mr. Rajput (Big B) who, apart from running the bank, subjects poor security guards with ringing cell phones to severe animalistic treatment - which includes chasing the victims into Monda Market and beating the crap out of them with steel water filters. This act of course gets the poor 'schizophrenic' Bachchan kicked out of the bank that he so lovingly helped build.

AB is understandably peeved, and like burning coals in a dhobi's iron, he smolders with rage and decides to get even with the bankwallahs by robbing them blind. This is where the unintended pun and three blind men - Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal and Arjun Rampal - come in.

AB figures that if he actually gets the blind men to rob his bank, their blindness would be their perfect alibi and everything would be okay. Not wanting to stain his hands with this ice ka gola, he holds Sushmita Sen, an instructor for the blind, responsible for their training, all the while holding her brother as ransom.

Sush gets right down to the act and trains the guys to orchestrate the heist, and everything goes fine - until on D-Day the guys decide to take things in their own hands.

The movie begins in a thoroughly enjoyable fashion and continues to stay that way. I know this from the snatches of the flick I caught during my adventures in Never-Never land. AB is, of course, cool, but it is Paresh Rawal who's the undisputed bum in the movie as he keeps you in bursts of giggles all through playing a nautanki local train beggar with a penchant for some dhamaka gaalis. Try this one for size: "Tujhe cancer ho jaaye aur uska ilaaj karate karate tumhe AIDS ho jaye!" (ouch!!).

Akshay Kumar is HOT and HOW! He's supposed to have this sexth ...er, sixth sense in this flick. No, Shyamalan, he doesn't 'see dead people'! Sushmita Sen is fully clothed and looks like the mom of 10 newborns, but otherwise she's fine. The music goes with the flow of the flick, and there are no dumb songs anywhere.

All in all, the film is hajaar fun and nobody should miss it. It beats all those dumb mushy movies any day. The plot gets koncham hackneyed in between, but the end product is TTP (TTP is short for The TTP Project - hyuk, hyuk! okay, that's totalement time pass!).

P. S. Somebody please let Arjun Rampal out of his misery and let him join that darned acting school!