Bramhachaarulu Review

. Dial 2 + 7 + 6 + 5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 + code for the language + code for the movie + code for the theater + code for the specific show + code for the number of tickets and listen to a robotic voice saying "No tickets available". Get frustrated & hang up!
B. Go to the theater; stand in the queue with the person behind rubbing his precious 'nads against you and the guy in front smelling like Elvis Presley (I have nothing against Elvis but how do you suppose a 50-year-old corpse would smell?). Finally, reach the counter just to have a "Full" signboard hammered on your knuckles. Get frustrated & scream!
C. Spend every little paisa you earned from pawning that gold medallion you got in Moral Science, in buying a ticket in black. Then get stopped right before entering the hall 'cos it's the previous show's ticket. Get frustrated and give up!
D. Keep repeating A, B & C till you get in somehow. Watch the trashy fluff they show. Get frustrated all over again!
E. Read a review by a person who's very non-judgemental and in proper sense 'cos he just:
- got frustrated & hung up
- got frustrated & screamed
- got frustrated & gave up and
- got frustrated all over again

Easy clue: A, B, C and D are not the answers.
Cryptic clue: only E is left, only E is left.
Answer: E.
So, to let you guys know what to expect in the damn theater, here's my frustrated presentation of Bramhachaarulu, which was shot completely in... its entirety!

Raju, Ravi & Suri are the 3 clods who get a couple married against the consent of the girl's dad. This dad guy is a ruthless ganglord who swears vengeance on the three once he gets out of prison. He does get out, but the three buffoons bash him up. What took me 3 meager sentences takes the makers 3 hours to show. Even worse, 3 months to shoot! Okay, so maybe I missed the monkey humour & the donkey music, but I do get Simply Shekhar on my TV too!

For a side plot, Dharmavarapu Subramanyam is getting Raju & Suri to get fresh with his 2 daughters. That way he can avoid being called a knucklehead for paying dowry & be called a knucklehead for being a pimp! The third stooge, Ravi, is paired up with a girl whose dad also is a don. This just adds to this country circus... minus the awe and flair. All these elements combined are supposed to create infinite situational comedy laughs. Sure, but laughing at the situation of the audience never made a movie a hit.

You know, there was a time when the sight of movie stars would make us all excited. These days, watching them brings on thoughts of mercy killing! The 3 lead actors here have been the forgettable 'extras' of films - Ravi was an extra in Nuvvu Nenu. So we all know how well he can act. Suri was an extra in Raavoyi Chandamaama. I don't blame you if you don't remember. That one had way too many forgettable extras like Anjala Zaveri, Kirti Reddy etc. And Raju - well, he's just an extra in Bramhachaarulu!

To conclude, take my word and do yourself a huge favor - stay away from this slime and save 3 full hours. Save even more if you're really bad at telling time!