Kitne Door Kitne Paas Review

Fardeen Khan makes a comeback with KDKP. Only, I really don't think anybody noticed - not even Fardeen himself! Cast ceremoniously in Ben Affleck's role from Forces Of Nature, KDKP will need a major hurricane to blow it through the first week. And speaking of blow, Fardeen looks like he's just about returned from a safari through the poppy fields of Afghanistan.

Malaika "pout pout bare bare" Arora's li'l sis too makes her debut, and manages to bravely go where Diya Mirza has not dared to go before. This chick can act and also wear the same set of clothes throughout the flick without raising a stink. Being a celeb really pays!

To skip the pourparlers and get down to the point, KDKP is as dumb as a pocket full of hair. Or even more. Jatin (Fardeen) bumps into Karishma (Amrita) at a mall in the US, and their cells get exchanged (unfortunately not their brain cells, which would've been quite welcome given that Fardeen needs plenty more - it's just their dumb mobiles). This results in un peu de confusion, with Fardeen getting calls from Amrita's tailor asking whether the ghagra choli she ordered needs to have 'naada' or elastic. This puts all sorts of ideas in our head - but we skip those, too.

Anyway, Jatin is on his way to India to get married, and so's Karishma. They catch up, swap phones, fall prey to every disaster conceivable to the scriptwriter, and engage in the most contrived hackneyed dialogues ever written on the face of the earth. These guys soon manage to find their way back home after their flight gets cancelled, taxi-driver gets arrested, and other forms of transportation elude them.

They pose as a married couple, get quasi-married in a mandir after an old couple bullies them, and then return home to get married to their respective would-be spouses like nothing ever happened.

As luck would have it, their respective sets of parents soon find out, and like nothing we've ever seen before, tell the kids to go right ahead and get married. But the kids, thanks to their extra enthu penchant for Indian culture and heritage, decide to do things their own way and shed a couple of buckets of tears.

After a couple of such scenes, the movie begins to resemble a bulldog which had overestimated the proportions of a bone, and then decides to give in and wrap itself up with a scene of a burning mandap and Fardeen rescuing the arson-o-fied Amrita on a white steed. Oh Jesus, Mary and flagellating mosquitoes! That's just what we needed! But the divine intervention in the form of the climax still saves us all from an untimely death, and we troop out dazed after our close encounter with the Grim Reaper. I guess that's why the flick is called Kitne Door Kitne Pass.

Fardeen being himself looks like he's been mopping up all sorts of stuff all day long with a vacuum cleaner, while Amrita looks cute. She begins to look like an 80-year-old without the wrinkles after the first half hour, but that's an issue to be debated in the Security Council. A couple of high-energy songs are tolerable, but nothing saves this one from being "Jitna Door Utna Behthar".