XXX Review

The recipe for XXX is straight out of the James Bond formula for filmmaking that people love so much. However, the execution of that recipe is like my execution of the recipe to make sambar, and even the worst James Bond movie will look like Indiana Jones when compared to this pretender. Very surprising, when you consider that this director-star team also made the smash hit The Fast And The Furious. XXX is fast and it is furious as well, but they seem to have forgotten to add a story and some logic to it, making it intriguing for anyone with an IQ less than that of a retarded jellyfish.

The story, for lack of an alternative word, is somewhat like this. Xander (XXX) Cage (Diesel) is an extreme-sports (into dirt racing, boarding and generally being a jumping jack a la our own Jeetendra) athlete, who is notorious for his death defying public stunts, and who seriously believes that "the law is an ass". In spite of that, or perhaps because of that, he has a strong fan following and is generally very popular.

Enter Secret Service Agent Gibbons (Samuel Jackson), who wants someone with a whole lot of attitude and athletic skills to take on the underworld mafia. Thanks to his history of law-breaking, XXX fits the bill, and Gibbons is able to coerce this fast-talking semi-outlaw into infiltrating and ultimately bringing down an underworld crime organization. Xander finds that he has been drawn into a frightening game of terror and that he has to use all the skills at his disposal to blow the bad guys up and save the world, since everything is riding on his shoulders.

Sense is not the first thing that comes to mind when you talk about this movie. After getting used to Bond do it, it certainly is scary having to keep your faith in Xander saving the world! But Diesel is tailor-made for this action role. His imposing physique is eye-catching, and possibly eye candy to female viewers. He is no Sean Connery however, and so XXX can never be anything but a wannabe.

Everything else though is quite Bond-like, right from cheesy dialogues pompously spit out to a wafer thin plot. There is very little by way of support cast, and Yelena (Asia Argento) is strictly a paperweight. There are plenty of scantily clad women, though, to draw hopeful young men into the theaters and keep them there.

Credit ought to be given where credit is due, though, and Rob Cohen has done a fantastic job of imitating popular 007 movies in action and storyline. The photography is eye catching, although clearly inspired by, yes, Her Majesty's Secret Servant's adventures. Most of the action sequences have been choreographed impressively, and the backdrops will leave you reminiscing about Tomorrow Never Dies and For Your Eyes Only, to mention a couple. There's a motorcycle chase that looks like a direct cut-and-paste, but it still makes for compelling watching, and that is the real strength of the movie.

So when you enter the theater, please remember to switch off your mobiles and your brains, toss your briefcases, bags and common sense aside, and sit back and enjoy two hours of high-octane explosions and thrills.