Mumbai Matinee Review

There is this story doing the rounds about 'Mumbai Matinee'. It seems the script was written for a play and directly, without any changes, used in the movie. We disagree. Playwrights are sensible people.

All publicity posters advertise the film as a magical story of a 32-year-old virgin. Therein lies your difference between the product and the sales demo. What could be so exciting about a man who is obsessed with sex enough to make a movie about but not enough to, ahem, take the matters in his own hands, so to speak?

Debashish Chatterjee (Rahul Bose) is obsessed with sex. He is frustrated. He is gung-ho over losing his virginity. He thinks he is the only one in the fray. Hey, wake up and smell the coffee! This is India where most unmarried people, and some married ones too, are VIRGINS. Here, we have the luxury of falling back on our family structure to help us find a 'partner' in the form of a spouse when the 'going gets tough'. We do not live in the world of Ally McBeal where our independence comes at the price of being alone, lonely, depressed, and getting ourselves a shrink and the services of a dating agency.

The film blows the issue of his virginity out of all conceivable proportion, so much so that an impression is created that it is a matter of graver importance than that of life and death. Characters keep coming and going, all with the intention of taking a dig at Debu's virginity. Every character has been etched with one purpose, and one purpose alone - to test the threshold of your endurance.

Sequences are played out that could be either the pinnacle or the nadir of innovation, depending on your predilections. You wait patiently, hoping for things to improve. And then this thought hits you. You came to watch the movie for Perizaad Zorabian. Where is she? You are not alone in your thoughts. The office vamp, the horny colleague and the animated boss, each get more screen time than Perizaad. And Anusha? She only gets one song. An item number at that.

By this time, you must be wondering as to when I would tell you the story of the film. Well, if the film had any, I would have. Trust me. If this is what we get in the name of alternate or parallel or experimental cinema, give me the Barjatyas and the David Dhawans any day.

And what's with Rahul Bose? He stutters throughout the film, and generally looks constipated. Perizaad tries hard to breathe some freshness into the film, but Bose very successfully neutralises her efforts. The scores of other actors look disinterested, but considering how Bose 'acted' in the film, I do not blame them.

Now to clarify the ratings. Why was the film generously given a rating of one star? That is thanks to the ones who programmed the site - they did not take into account ratings in fractions less than unity. But, considering how much we underpaid and overworked him, it was take it or leave it for us!