D-War Review

D-War is easily one of the most ridiculous and insanely nonsense films you would have had the pleasure of watching. Also, it is such a breathlessly frantic and deliriously mad film, it is impossible not to have fun. The fun comes obviously not from watching the film but watching the ludicrous film take itself so seriously.

A weird sense of irony and a completely off-kilter sense of humor are necessary for the film to have any payoff for you however. How much? Well, the film is actually a Korean movie, made with cheap TV and B-movie talent from America to sell it as a Hollywood excess film. It's not. It's a weird little Korean film, and at times the plot is as much hokum as any of many mad Korean television serials.

I cannot, simply cannot tell you the plot of the film, because I didn't understand any of it. You can read it up on Wikipedia but I doubt even that does anything to help you understand all the expository nonsense that we keep seeing. Okay, let me try. Centuries ago in Korea, giant snakes called Imoogi used to exist. One of them was Buraki and had his own army. He was obviously VERY EVIL.

A girl called Yeo-Yi-Joo had a glowing thingamabob (technical term), which would make all the Imoogi into dragons. Buraki wanted this, but the girl and her lover Haram (snicker, snicker) along with mentor Bochun sacrifice themselves so that no one gets the dragon-making glowing thingamabob.

In Los Angeles, some seismic activity suggests something BIG is on its way. A reporter Ethan (Jason Behr) finds out, and recalls that he was told by a weird old man Jack (Robert Forster) that he is Haram in this punarjanam, no kidding. Yeo-Yi-Joo is now Sarah (Amanda Brooks), and he must look for her and protect her.

Eyes glazing yet? If not, you are the absolute wrong person to go watch D-War. If you take any of it as seriously as the filmmakers are, the movie is a messy monster flick with pretensions of being Lord Of The Rings. On the other hand if you laugh at the insane plot elements as you would at some low budget fantasy anime, I think you could have some fun. Provided of course you can laugh at things like giant snakes turning into dragons by eating glowing thingamabobs.

Actually, once Buraki starts to get jiggy with it, the film becomes an absolute blast of CGI spasms. Mad huge snakes, winged reptiles, snakes eating helicopters, Buraki eating elephants, Nathan, or Haram (tee hee) having his own thingamabob that kills snakes... the list goes on.

Seriously, if the filmmakers didn't have pretensions of making anything better than a guilty pleasure monster movie, this one would have been a prized part of my DVD collection. Precisely because of all the hokey-pokey plot that tries to justify monsters (the gall), the film comes off as completely off-putting.

I can't even say hey, it's a Korean monster movie, we all know it's terrible, go have fun. Koreans can come up with monster movies that are way better than anything you have ever seen in the horror or monster movie genre, case in point being last year's The Host.

At this point, however, the discussion and the rating up there are all moot. If you like monster movies with lots of destruction and are willing to keep a keen sense of irony while watching what is essentially bottom of the barrel, you have my hearty recommendation. If you are the sort that will try to enjoy the film on its own merit, you will be sorely disappointed.