Murder Review

Simran (Mallika Sherawat) is a depressed wife. Her husband, Sudhir (Ashmit Patel), loves his work more than her. He's always busy with board meetings and deadlines. Simran only takes this till a point that any loving and caring wife would. And after the 30 seconds are over, she screams her head off and behaves like Sudhir has just poked her with a hot poker in some inappropriate place.

One day, Simran is explaining to Sudhir how she was caught in the rain when an old acquaintance Sunny (Emraan Hashmi) had come to her rescue. Sudhir screams at her to stop it, Sonia, he's busy. Simran's name is not Sonia. He forgot his wife's name!

No self-respecting wife would take that kind of ignorance and disrespect lying down. Fortunately for Simran, she's not a self-respecting wife. She's just a wife in need of some love. She finds that love from Sunny (Emraan Hashmi).

If you thought that love constitutes taking long walks along seashores and watching the sunset from mountaintops, kindly get your eyes examined. Whatever Mallika and that guy were doing in the promos, it was definitely not walking along the seashore.

What exactly they were doing is better watched than said. It seems Mahesh Bhatt had asked Mallika to do a completely nude scene for the film. Mahesh, Mahesh, even you have to get your eyes examined - what is Mallika wearing in the first place?

Slowly, the discreet affair of Simran and Sunny starts getting out into the open - they do it on building tops and open elevators. It is only a matter of time before Sudhir is going to find out, because he generally has the expression of an open elevator. And Sudhir does find out.

But Simran had just dumped Sunny overwhelmed by the guilt. Still, Sunny tries to force her, and she's forced to drive a dagger into him.

This whole story was narrated by Simran to a police officer (Raj Zutshi). It's a good thing she had a photographic memory - the police would've died if she had forgotten the color of her underwear. She's being interrogated because her lover, Sunny, has been murdered.

The police officer listens to the entire narrative carefully, and at the end of it, starts laughing at ultrasonic sound levels. He cannot get over the fact that an unfaithful wife could be doing this - trying to save her husband's life. Because in the other room, Sudhir confesses that he had murdered Sunny.

Sudhir's version of the story is the same till the point of his finding out about his wife's infidelity. Then it seems he goes to confront Sunny. Sunny really pisses him off, saying, 'Jao apni biwi ki garmahat uus pillow par mehsoos karo jo maine uske kamar ke niche lagayi thi.' Sudhir really loses it after this point. How dare he try out pillow positions her husband has never tried before?

That mean pervert that... take that! And that! Then it's all over. Sunny is dead. Really. Promise. We swear. Sunny is dead. Dead. So Sudhir buries the body and all. But after a few days, he gets a note: 'Mujhe pata hai tumne pichle garmi ke raat mein kya kiya tha.' Okay, he just gets a picture of him burying the body.

Who could be blackmailing him? Who has actually killed Sunny? Why doesn't Sudhir get a superhit like his sister Amisha Patel? To know all this, Murder yourself... er, watch it yourself.

Ashmit Patel is a looker, while Emraan Hashmi is not even that. Mallika is quite a bold girl. She says she will not drown in the sea of other wannabes that show skin to get fame. She wouldn't drown - she's got two of the best floatation devices money can buy. But it's unfair to expect her to be a good actress - floatation devices don't act.

And Murder has quite frankly made good use of those, and other paraphernalia that is on offer in a limited budget. It comes out as being average for having a set direction for the plot and for showing some decent dirty scenes. Woohoo, my first oxymoron!