Speed (Hindi) Review

Allright, I wanna rob Vikram Bhatt. More specifically, I wanna rob Vikram Bhatt's DVD library. Because, boy o boy, it must be huge.

And I'm not saying that because I see all his film being 'inspired' from some or the other Hollywood film. Well, okay, that's exactly why I am saying that. But you have to give the man some credit. It's not just that he rips off a film entirely and is content with watching the easy money flow in. Oh no, he works hard. He mashes a perfectly serviceable plot with another one, thereby offering a dish best served under the label 'kichdi'.

So who was the lucky one this time? Well, most of the plot is a straight copy of Cellular, the Jason Statham, Kim Basinger, William H Macy vehicle from a few years back. So we have Zayed Khan reprising the role played by Chris Evans, in London this time, to convince his girlfriend that he isn't the loser she thinks he is. Meanwhile, a woman in distress, kidnapped and obviously under duress, calls frantically, and gets through to him.

She asks him to help her, and he agrees. Together they forge a tenuous connection, and the man gets to help the woman and her family. However, they are going to be under a lot of pressure very, very soon. You see, this is where Vikram Bhatt mashes this one up with the plot from Nick Of Time, only without the real-time, and we have Sanjay Suri, the husband in question, now being blackmailed into bumping off none other than the Prime Minister of India.

Ashish Chaudhary, in a casting decision that can only be spelt W-R-O-N-G, reprises the role played by William H Macy in the original. No sir, you don't take a role being played by Macy and give it to a rank youngster, however sprightly. Anyway, rounding off the cast are the villains of the piece - Aftaab and Sophie, the dastardly evil whatchamacallits.

Look, I'm as tired as you are of talking about this. Let's just say this: it is a fairly masala plot, served with some pace, and also a very obviously stolen script. Our resourceful but reluctant hero gets calls, he stays on the line because otherwise everyone dies, and he manages to do some very incredible stuff. Sanjay Suri and Ashish Chaudhary are in it too. That is about all you need to know.

This is it - right here. Now do you want to go watch it or would you rather stay home and watch the DVD of Nick Of Time? Take your call, and remember, your money will directly fund Vikram Bhatt's DVD library. To be fair, not much of the film is original or even believable, but it zips past very quickly, so you don't worry about it too much.

The dialog and the screenplay service the plot, and remain around the edges. This is the making of a competent film, helmed by a director with no thought for originality. Sure, he moves things around a bit, and creates girlfriends and wives, not to mention the brilliant mash up between two reluctant hero thrillers.

Zayed Khan makes an impression and dishes up an almost appealing presence. Next up, acting classes. Urmila makes the most of a thankless role, and delivers in the right places. Sanjay Suri is doing the best he can, which is not very good at all, unfortunately. Ashish Chaudhary, though, takes up the role that was played by a legend, and makes it a pedestrian one. He swings, of course, but he misses badly.

The ladies, as expected, other than Urmila, have nothing much to do, and I guess the very expensive TV song that they did was all that they were good for. Interestingly enough, the other big releases last week were over-hyped pap, while this is a sprightly little thriller with zip. It looks and feels like a cheap made-for-TV movie, which is good, because you lower your expectations. Which is when it works just fine.

As a remake, it is a blight on humanity. As a B-grade thriller, it is mildly entertaining. The film is the equivalent of reading a trashy airport novel. Goes by quickly, without being harmful in any way. It does not change the landscape, but hey, it never set out to. I was serious about the DVD library, though. Who's with me?