D Review

Dashing macho men, fire-spitting guns, bone-crunching action sequences, flesh-flaunting babes, and more... are all missing from the 'D' scene. But if you want to indulge in your taste for art cinema, and are looking for grisly details of the poverty-stricken, gutter-ridden underworld, with scantily-clad bar dancers doing their turn... you are again at the wrong movie.

It appears that Ram Gopal Verma followed a new algorithm for his 'D'. He sneaked 1,001 bullets from Taishey-Haiyaba's cache, got together a collection of ugly mugged men, and made writer M Gupta add a total of 18 sentences. Then he consulted his numerologist, and christened the outcome as 'D'.

'D', a would-be different movie, certainly turns out to be different. The camera's drunken waverings, the inappropriate music, and the almost complete absence of spoken words, indicate strongly towards a new genre of film-making - one that only none can understand. The movie apparently traces the life of Dawood, but unlike the D-man, fails on many fronts.

'D' is the world of Dishu (Randeep Hooda) and in the world of Dishu nobody shaves, bathes or, as if to safeguard against being clichéd, speaks. Especialy Dishu. And 'D' is the story of how Dishu makes business out of crime, and, perhaps, how Randeepa Hooda makes a crime out of acting.

Dishu is fresh from Dubai, in Mumbai for his mother's funeral. He rubs shoulders with killers in local trains, gets his scooter repaired, witnesses a couple of murders, and sits around. And never ever speaks more than 2 words at a time.

Soon, he's decided over a career - being a gangster. The rest, as they say, is history - he kills, kills and kills, and commits many to history. His repertoire includes politicians, dons, film-stars, policemen, and anybody else who could have been squeezed into the 2-hour movie - remember, he has to use up all the 1,001 bullets.

All the above hard work requires Dishu to wear only a poker face, but as his score increases, the Ray-Bans do, too. All the scenes involving him might as well have been shot together - if you have seen 5 secs of him, you've seen what he will be doing for the next 2 hours. But then he had very little "say" in the matter.

The moviemakers were assuming either that we are well-versed with the ledgers of the 'D' Company, or that we can be intimidated into enlightenment. No insight is given into Dishu's mind, and only some is given on Rukhsar's body. The extreme rigidity of her lead man made Rukhsar desperate enough to do a romantic, if unmusical, number with Rajpal Yadav. There is just one other screaming number, but then the music had another purpose to serve - camouflaging the dialogues.

A special effect, seen for the first time in the history of Indian cinema, is, no, not graphics or action sequences, but the timeliness of the background music. Whenever Dishu or his chums speak over 2 sentences, the music takes over, saving them from giving logical conclusions to phrases like Chuna Do, Shaadi Karegi and Nazar Rakho.

Chunky Pandey, as Dishu's buddy Raghav, is the only saving grace. Goga Kapoor, as aging don Hashim, has certainly usurped the acting arena. Isha Koppikar, even in a cameo, has again proved that, (a) she can wash dishes, and (b) she can act.

This is one movie nobody can attempt writing a spoof of, as it is itself a spoof of all the gangster movies ever made.