Oops! (English) Review

There are those who can act, those who can direct, and those who can do neither. Where Deepak Tijori fits should not be too difficult to guess. I do not know who came up with the name of this film, but it must have been during one of those moments of incredible insight, for it sums up in one word what the film is all about. Throughout the film, your facial expressions would have gone through a rigmarole of contortions so much so that if you were at a dramatic exercise session - for disgust, disillusionment, incredulity... - at the National School of Drama, you wouldn't have been able to do a better job.

If the film attempted to show the agony of male strippers, it was a very poor attempt. If the idea was to trace why ofay (my definition of women who act like Simi Garewal does in Rendezvous) society women seek the company of young men, the bulb just did not light up. But if the quest was for bawdiness, tawdriness, meretriciousness, raffishness, garishness, luridness, or any of the other synonyms - through dialogues like "You think I do not notice you getting a hardon every time you look at me" or "We are happy with our dildos" - then it was a huge success.

We have Jahan who wants to make quick money, Akash who is super rich, and Nikki who at the moment loves Jahan. They work in some dance troupe - ever since Dil To Pagal Hai, whenever our filmmakers have needed to get nudity passed by the Censor Board, they have used this ruse.

Anyway, Jahan gets an offer from Sonia (a Bollywood actress from what my Sherlock Holmesian deduction told me) for some strip show, and dosti ki khatir Akash agrees to do it with him just this once. As cliché would have it, Jahan gets hooked to it and in the process loses his girlfriend to his best friend- Akash would never have to sing the 'if you can't get the girl that your best friend can' line of Rock DJ, would he?

Before I tell you the rest of the story (?), just remember this. Prior to becoming someone's gigolo, please find out what all your friends' moms look like! It just might happen that of all the women you could have chosen to sleep with, you choose your best friend's mom. And you would find out she is his mom only after you have fallen in love with her. Now, that would be awkward, unless you are desirous of having your friend call you Pa.

Once Jahan's and Sakshi's (Akash's Mom, of course) secret is out in the open, there occur the usual melodrama, the rona dhona, the showdown between the two friends and the mandatory hospital scene and the reconciliation (Jahan does not get his girl back, though). In the end all's well that ends well, except for your belief that you know when not to watch a film. That takes one hell of a beating. And to think of it, 330 Hindi films release each year. Thank heavens you don't get to even hear about 300 of them.