Dukaan Review

Well, well, look what we have here. Another one of those movies involving a broadminded theme. 'Broad' minded, get it? 'Broad!' Ha ha ha! Tee hee hee! What a cracker... it's killing me! First there was Market, then there was Bazaar and now it's Dukaan. These are not movie names. These are the places you'll go to find yourself a particularly crude chainsaw to play Doctor-Doctor with the crew of this movie.

But to its credit, Dukaan is highly thought-provocative and educational. Take this path-breaking quotation for instance (translated into English for better effect) - 'Behen ke jhumke', i.e. sister's earrings. Or take this - 'Balbir Pasha, aavuuu', i.e. Balbir Pasha, come, oooh. Or perhaps this - 'Tak dhina dhin', i.e. tak dhina dhin.

But here's the most thought-provoking thing about the movie: the story (har!):

In the yellow-light area of suburban Mumbai (Peela Bazaar it's called, as Laal Bazaar is already a trademark of other movies), there's a culmination of all sorts of women and their body-shops. This particular shop is very popular. That's because this movie is about it.

Anyway, the employees of this shop are very philosophical to say the least. Once, during the nightly ritual of wearing revealing dresses and braying like wild donkeys, one of the employees mellows down her dressing sense. She wears something that reaches below her waist.

The shocked colleagues say that it will be difficult for her to find a customer if she does that. So this woman yanks her skirt up and starts laughing philosophically. This is when that dialogue comes in, 'Arey behen ke jhumki, neechey kar!' (Dear sister's earrings, kindly put it down).

The next night, something even more morbid happens - Rambha walks in. She's apparently a choosy employee. Only people with immense wealth can afford her services. All the honorable gentlemen in that area try their luck, but no luck.

A particular cop and the area thug also try, but she says, "Mera badan mera property hai. Chahe mai isse commercial rakhu ya residential yeh meri marzi." (My body is my property. Whether that will remain commercial or residential falls under my humble jurisdiction).

In the meantime, let's talk about the men in the movie. Madhav (one of the clods from Meri Padosan) provides tea to all the employees in the area. He's a noble person. When Rambha asks him to touch her wherever he wants to, he touches her toes. This proves that he's noble, and completely stupid, which then makes no sense of being noble. The other three men (2 introduced in the earlier para) are the villains.

So when Rambha wants to learn English to appeal to the higher-level clientele, an English teacher walks in. One day he asks Rambha if he can marry her. Rambha is delighted. She never thought learning English involved getting married. Not believing her luck, she says okay.

But to her gross disappointment, that English sir also turns out to love her body more than her. Madhav saves her from that evil sir. Madhav also saves her from the evil cop and the thug. Rambha starts dancing the dance of victory. There was nobody to save Madhav from that.

Rati Agnihotri plays a role in this movie. What role we haven't figured out yet. She basically tells us the difference between a 'tawaif' and a 'vaishya', we think. Whatever. Barf!

There is not even a single dirty scene in the movie. So all you guys can safely stay away. It has a lot of religion-bashing, though ("Vaishya ganga jal jaisi hi. Log aaten hai aur unke paap dhoke jaathe hai." Etc.).

This movie is shameless, repulsive and ugly. In all, a wonderful experience. And people are making the torturing at Al-Ghraib an issue.