There's something that Brad Pitt says in the film Moneyball
that, with a little bit of modification, perfectly describes the scenario here. There are good films, and there are bad films. Then there's 50 feet of terrible, and then there's Laali Ki Shaadi Mein Laaddoo Deewana.
According to statistics, 10 persons die in the time it takes to say the name of this film. And the name's not the only thing that's long - the film is as well, and we aren't sure 10 persons don't die in every screening.
That's not to say that the premise wasn't worth the attention. A big, fat, Indian wedding has been the core for some great Indian films recently, with Tanu Weds Manu
being an absolute belter. If only themes and the most honest of intentions could drive a film, though.
The plot revolves around a love triangle of sorts. Laaddoo (Vivaan Shah) and Laali (Akshara Haasan) fall in love quite fast, and it's all going good for the duo. So good, that they eventually become colleagues. What could go wrong you ask?
Everything, actually. Laali gets pregnant, and the dialogues that Laaddoo dishes out are outright toxic. He chickens out of the relationship, and suddenly all he cares about is keeping his job.
So what do you do when two can't make it work? Try three. Enter Veer (Gurmeet Choudhary) as the knight in shining armour. What happens after that is complete harakiri, and there's more life in a flattened tire than in this film's script.
Vivaan Shah and Akshara Haasan have to be one of the weakest onscreen couples in a long while. Shah has one single expression on his face at all times, and is still beaten by Haasan who takes the mannequin challenge to a whole new level. And what veterans like Sanjay Mishra, Saurabh Shukla and Suhasini Mulay were thinking when they decided to come onboard for this film, only God and they know.
The film also has some callous photography, and the music is average at best.
That's not to say that everything is bad about the film. Sanjay Mishra shines sporadically, and Saurabh Shukla and Darshan Jariwala offer a few redeeming moments. But that's pretty much all there is to it.
Midway through, a dominant feeling that hits you is that maybe, just maybe, this film might have fared slightly better if it had a vibrant first line of cast. Varun Dhawan and Alia Bhatt could have pulled off the lead roles with way more ease and panache. But then again, the problem isn't acting as much as it is the atrocious scripting. "Abolish all senses, ye who enter hither," seems to have been the clarion call of director Manish Harishankar to the cast and crew.
Passing this one off even as a one-time watch would be being very, very liberal.