Rafta Rafta Review

Well, it would be best not to speak of such things.

Rafta Rafta is a tale of chaos, chance and coincidence. It is also a horror film. And with a little bit of extra effort, it could have been a decent soft porn flick. Every time when the stage seems to be set for a hot steamy scene, the director introduces an element of surprise. Though there are a zillion other flaws in the narrative, this one is simply unforgivable. When you are all alone in a theater and a wannabe smutty flick doesn’t reach its true potential, you end up being slightly disheartened. But let’s not discuss this further, since we are not cheap, vulgar people who watch films for their raunchy content. We think.

Rafta Rafta is a drag right from the beginning. To get a fair estimate of how watching this one would be like, imagine a cross between a Shakeela starrer and 25 episodes of a star-plus soap. From what transpired on the screen, it appears that the makers have attempted to make a full fledged masala flick. But the aimless hobbling of a lackluster script, some hilariously bad performances and mangy actors refuse to give meaning to their honest intentions.

Akshay (Sameer Dharmadhikari) and Rahul (Venkat) are a couple of bosom buddies who set off to London to pursue an MBA. They immediately embark on a "ladki patao" exercise, and after scanning the whole of London, fall for two pseudo females (Monika Castelino and Asha Sachdev).

There is no better way to portray the classical theory that love is blind. You cannot believe your eyes when the narrative audaciously announces that these hussies are the leading ladies of the film. While one of them wears an expression of a sole victim of a major diphtheria epidemic in an attempt to bring her gloomy character to life, the other wears extremely low cut tops to cover up for her pathetically disgusting acting skills.

The two petticoats make the guys seem like downright heroes right away. And apart from a few lousy attempts at some sultry display of bikinis, the story does not progress at all in the first half.

Post interval, the focus turns away from bare appreciation of the grooves, contours and nuances of the female anatomy to more “concrete” story building. Akshay and Rahul hatch a scheme to free Neha from the clutches of her guardian (Rahul Roy). But the plot takes a turn, and the two chaps are implicated in the murder of one of the girls. You expect the suspense to build up at this juncture, but the story drifts into a deplorable state once again.

Rahul Roy keeps staring like a zombie all through, perhaps in an attempt to show what a dangerously wonderful villain he can be. The others and Rahul Roy look like emotionless automatons who have been brainwashed into taking up this acting exercise. Shakti Kapoor, the only “big” name in the troupe, does a cameo role. He looks like a buffoon with his affected accent and “funky” hairdo.

Overall, Rafta Rafta drags like a big wet noodle, and doesn’t gain momentum at any point. And there is none of those regaling gibes and quips which you see in films based on chums getting together and letting their hair down. The senti scenes get onto your nerves and you keep wondering whether to run or call for help.

The music is not worth remarking upon, but the editor could have done a better job. He could have safely snipped two hours worth of the flick, and fitted the rest into a single episode that could have been shown on late night Doordarshan.

Unless you want to explore what a ghastly threat some movies can get, stay away from this.