Slokam Review

Do you remember the time when we asked Saikumar to become a proper Tollywood hero? We were young and innocent. All we knew about him was that his voice was kickass and perfectly suited Rajshekhar in his long angry hero-morph monologues. Then the benevolent audience that we are, we welcomed him into full-time acting, and even gave him a couple of hits. Big Mistake!

The only reason we watch his movies and have no problem with his position in the industry is because of our adulation for him when he dons the Police Uniform. And it's better to listen to the audience than to try to become a serious actor (for more information on that write to pawan_kalyan@tollywood.com). So don't be surprised if this movie is such a huge flop that the great K Vishwanath will lose faith in the industry.

Viswanath plays the father of the hero in the film and the "headmaster" of a Vedic school. Conveniently (for the villains, not the audience), the Vedic school is built on a large piece of land with huge granite deposits under it. As expected the baddies kill all the poor little bald children and their unusually hairy headmaster. No, I'm not joking; Vishwanath and Saikumar have such beautiful long locks that I won't be surprised to see the major shampoo companies signing them for endorsements.

Saikumar works "part-time" in a temple as a priest. That's because he's a full-time body-builder and karate artist. Why a temple priest of a small town needs self-defense and relies on superficial looks will haunt me for the rest of the month. Yet, somehow after his father and his students are killed, he exercises the Right for Non-Violence and moves to another town.

But true movie buffs already know that the only reason a hero moves away from home is to have the bad guys follow him there. This way he can kick some villain-ass in a more urban surrounding with the goons wielding urban weapons destroying urban sets and creating general urban chaos.

Sadly for those of us who wait for long hours for the Saikumar Special dialogues, I have just one phrase to break your heart - "The Force is weak in this one." For those people who watch Saikumar flicks for his action sequences, we have one name for you - Horseman Babu. We guess he felt kinda out-of-place having to shoot fight sequences without his trademark horses. Although we're sure Saikumar's screams and grunts substituted perfectly for all the neighing that horses tend to do.

Now every regular fullhyd.com visitor knows how highly we regard movies with no story but plenty of sex and sleaze. So based on those ratings, we throw this movie out of the window, for its complete lack of female screen presence. The two heroines were probably on a "Buy 1 Get 1 Free" offer at the studio, and hence we have two hot-bods with not even a single bang between them.

fullhyd.com sincerely apologizes for not remembering the songs - we were busy pleading with the theater authorities to let us out early. The authorities took this as a sign of disrespect and tied us down to our seats. So as we sit in our hospital beds being treated for knobrainice and nonsenseitis, we plead with you to never watch this movie. Even if you are being paid for it.